Tag Archive | Street Carnage

On Street Carnage: Building a Breast Milk Empire

glass of milk

My latest contribution to Street Carnage expounds on a great idea that resulted from a conversation with my friend Jay from the band Suzuki Smith. We aim to be the breast milk magnates of our generation, selling exotic breast milk from women all over the globe to our exclusive clientele.

Jay’s wife says this idea is crazy, but our wives will be instrumental in making a breast milk empire possible. They must be the public face of our business. Women from all over the world will be more willing to share their breast milk with other women, not a couple of pervy middle-aged guys. We will be the wildly successful once we get our network of milk-pumping MILFs into full production and a way to make drinking human breast milk a staple of our decadent and depraved culture. Wish us luck.

Street Carnage: Checking our “White Privilege” via Ridiculous Names

White baby of privilege, oh noMy latest piece on Street Carnage tackles the issue of “White Privilege” and figures out that the best way for whites to do their parts is to come up with their own ridiculous names. Seeing as I became a father recently, this is an opportune time for me to join in the cause of issue a giant mea culpa for being white by saddling my children with horrific names. I think I’ll pass.

But of course the one link that I should have included in the article was this gem from the Key & Peele show featuring a black teacher in the white suburbs who finds he is so conditioned to pronouncing ridiculous black names that he finds himself unable to pronounce common white names.

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